you know the joke about the frenchman, englishman, russian... how do you get them each to jump off the london bridge?
Tell the englishman there has been a collapse in the market and his fortunes are gone..
Tell the frenchman his mistress has run off with his wife..
For the russian post a sign on the bridge: "absolutely no jumping"
jonathan
Related: humor
joke I heard on a plane by jonathan
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The angel Gabriel came to the Lord and said "I have to talk to you. We have some Russians up here in heaven that are causing problems.
They're swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, they are wearing Dolce and Gabbana instead of their white robes, they're riding BMW's instead of the chariots, and they're selling their halos to people for discount prices.
They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clear,since they keep crouching down midway eating sunflower seeds and pelemeni and smoking. Some of them are walking around with just one wing!"
The Lord said, "Russians are Russians. Heaven is home to all my children. If you want to know about real problems, call the devil."
The Devil answered the phone, "Hello? Damn, hold on a minute."
The Devil returned to the phone, "OK I'm back. What can I do for you?"
Gabriel replied, "I just wanted to know what kind of problems you're
having down there."
The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something."
After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said, "I'm
back. Now what was the question?" Gabriel said, "What kind of problems are you having down there?"
The Devil said, "Man I don't believe this.......Hold on."
This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes.
The Devil returned and said, "I'm sorry Gabriel, I can't talk right now. Those damn Russians have put out the fire and are trying to install air
conditioning!!!